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Fathering starts early and develops through your entire life. #TipTopTouchDADSU

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danandsarynFathering starts early and develops through your entire life.  #TipTopTouchDADSU

At DADSUniversity, the powerful stories of pain and success amaze me.  Never let yourself be desensitized to the influence of your leadership.

Kids look up to you over their entire life.  How you live every day is meaningful to them.

For a few years, I worked with the National Center for Fathering on fathering essays in the Oklahoma City schools.  One of those years, it was my joy to gather readers and sorters and judges for the essays.  Reading through thousands of essays at all age levels is a task.  There are many joyful and painful moments in those readings.

What strikes most is the emotion kids feel and express about dad.  Fathering is emotional for kids.  Men sometimes don’t get it.  We think life is a rational trip.

This week in DADSUniversity, we talked about the interplay of emotion, logic, physical, and spiritual.  Please don’t think you can separate the four.  They touch each other.  People buy on emotion and justify with logic.  People explain with logic what they feel emotionally.

If you want to improve communications, don’t ask someone what they think.  Ask them how they feel about a situation or decision.  You will get a more complete response to what you thought was a logical moment.  They will guard their thoughts and express their emotions and their thoughts together when asked about how they feel.

Try it.  Open up the concept that every influence you have on your child is a complex impact of emotion, logic, physical need, and spiritual dynamic.  Look to your child’s emotion first and logic second.

How often do we catch ourselves saying, “What in the world were you thinking?”

Try this the next time you say that.  “What in the world was she feeling?”


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