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Monthly Archives: November 2013

One of the colonias/neighborhoods reache

One of the colonias/neighborhoods reached by Community Transformation Initiative and CAREVI.
WIRED Magazine Names 12-Year-Old Mexican Paloma Noyola Bueno ‘The Next Steve Jobs’ [COVER STORY] : News : Latin Times http://ow.ly/reZFg

Absent fathers..I felt betrayed when my dad left

'I lost all faith in a man I had once adored’ - Tom Sykes and his wife Sacha, with their first child Benjamin when a toddlerThe pain experienced by kids goes well into adult life from fathers walking away.

“By Tom Sykes

6:05AM GMT 21 Nov 2013

The revelation that an eighth of Britain’s divorced dads – about 130,000 men – have no contact with their children is one of the most pathetic statistics to come out of a new report by the National Centre for Social Research, and inevitably reminded me of my own experience growing up without regular contact with my father.

There is no good time for your parents to separate, and for your contact with your father to be reduced to occasional letters, but being a 14-year-old boy felt like a particularly awful moment for such a family implosion to strike.”


A Chinese Father’s Most Important Job

It does not matter as much what you do as a father as the heart and investment you make.  Stay deeply engaged with your children.  A good analysis of studies in China follows in this WSJ article.

“When it comes to parenting, Chinese fathers say the most important role they play is that of the family chauffeur.

In a survey of 500 Chinese fathersreleased earlier this week by communications company JWT, respondents ranked driving their children to extracurricular activities and to school first and second, respectively, as the childcare responsibilities they most viewed as the responsibility of the male in the family. More than two-thirds of Chinese fathers surveyed said they saw these tasks as their responsibilities, not their wives’.

Fathers ranked handling doctor visits, disciplining children and helping with homework third through fifth on the list of daddy jobs.

Chinese men view parenting differently from their American counterparts. In a similar survey completed in the U.S. earlier this year, more than 80% of American fathers said discipline was their top role, with homework help ranking second.

Zhang Xiaoyan, a housewife in Shanghai, complained that driving the children is the only task her husband does at home. Men are under greater stress to support the family by working long hours, so they want “easy” tasks that don’t involve a lot of thinking, she said.”

http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2013/11/21/a-chinese-fathers-most-important-job/  read the rest here.

National Change in Fatherless Homes!

National change  This quick, two page, interactive report is downloadable or just read on…

Fathers must turn their hearts to their children.  Fathers need a heart-fix for their children and the children of the community.  No child should be left behind because a healthy, dedicated man is absent.  But they are.  They are left behind every day in academic achievement, social skills, peace of mind, behavioral stability and financial provision.  This is not right.


Graduation – Dad’s University

 In a community meeting sponsored by a government agency, the focus turned to promoting legislation that would impact families.  There was no thought of a positive or pro-family approach.  This group is ready to spend hundreds of thousands of community dollars to limit fathers’ involvement with their children and block effective family stability.  I was stunned and wept as I thought, “Who is really making this real for legislators?  Who is turning their hearts to the power of fathers and family?”  We must prevail.  We must.

Great news, the gifts we received this year changed individual lives and community morality.  That’s right, at CTI priority goes to  efforts that hammer both.  We must change the family environment in our nation.

Divorce and disease, abortion and abandonment,  addictions and abuse all plague in abounding proportion.  Our nation needs help.  Generational solutions must be applied.  You and I do it, together.  It does not happen without your support.


2013 – It takes time.  It takes dollars. It takes tenacity.

  • Prayermetro after 10 solid years of community wide involvement makes a daring move to engage deeply in fatherless areas and legislator impact as the Community Transformation Initiative.
  • 1061 men are reached face to face in the OKC community across denominations and cultural delineations with a goal to reach 500. Effective engagement with Tabitha Baptist, Eagles’ Crest, Life Church NW, Life Church Edmond,  Integris Men’s Health Fair, East Zion District Men’s Association, Tulakes Elementary.  We reached double our goal.
  • Established education based outreach in at risk schools with 90%+ fatherless homes.

Established congregation based outreach in at risk zones of 50%+ fatherless.


Tulakes – Fatherless Homes >90%

3400 legislators in 33 states are pinged weekly during session.  This is up from 1200 in 13 states in 2012.  Our email in-basket fills with “chaplaincy” requests for prayer  every week.

  • Hundreds of thousands were reached through effective “FRONT PAGE” features in the Oklahoman and NEWSOK.com.
  • The online and social media engine engages thousands of touches every week .
  • Served as a faith-based organization representative on the Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
  • Our simple launch budget was met through a few regular monthly donors and a few special gift donors.

 NOW WE NEED TO GROW!  VISION 2014Searching for heroes- Evangelist embarks on fatherhood mission - News OK

“Opportunities are multiplied as they are seized.” Sun Tzu

  • Extend effectively with significant increase in Watch DOGS programs that are community sponsored in at risk school districts.
  • Publish new book and new Dad’s University curriculum “Are You A Dad?”  based on research, scriptural wisdom, community feedback, and positive principles.
  • Triple the budget to get physical office space open, administrative
    Heads Down Training

    Heads Down Training

    assistance, engage more volunteers and active community leaders, keep the fire burning hot, update legislators on effective ways to promote fathering and families.

  • Extend effectively with current partnerships and building partnerships.  East OKC outreach to 18-35 year old men.  South Oklahoma / North Texas Father’s Day Weekend, more to come

 What will it take?  Vision 2014

  • 100 Regular Monthly Supporters at $40 a month can enable daily operations.
  • 10 Special Supporter at $2,500 can enable extention into new education and community programs.
  • 5 Key supporters at $5,000 can get new curriculum published and distributed.
  • 2 Outstanding Supporters at $10,000 can get legislators updated with family friendly approaches and information.
  • Special East OKC Project for May needs $40,000!
  • Special South Oklahoma / North Texas Project for June needs $40,000

“Are you a dad?”
This was the third child to ask me.  What a strange question.
“I don’t have a dad,” said her voice.
“I’ve never had a dad,” said her eyes.
“I don’t know what a dad looks like,” said her soul.
Dads are like unicorns in this neighborhood.  You read about them in books at school, but you’ve never talked to one or rode on his back or petted his mane.  You’ve seen some men, but none really act like the stories in the books at school.  Those are fairy tales.
“Are you a dad?”
Now there was hope in her voice.
“Yes, I’m a dad and were going to bring more dads to your school.”
Dark eyes turned bright.  A huge smile broadened on her face as she turned back to the herd of other kids who have never seen a dad.  She was the brave scout sent to see if this was real.  Now she could report.  “Dads are real and they are coming to our school.”
Her heart shouted louder than her voice.  “Maybe there is a dad for me?”

Where do you fit in 2014?  You can make a great start happen for us through prioritizing your  end of year giving to Community Transformation Initiative.  What you have given has worked.  It will continue to work.  That is our commitment and promise.


The Father Absence Crisis in America [Infographic]

The Father Absence Cris

is in America [Infographic].

Such a fun moment – Lifelong Dads, Kids Need ‘Em.


This was such a fun moment, I had to share.  Wish Sarah, Jesse’s wife, could have been with us.  She counts among my daughters.  My wife, Dian, and I are blessed with two wonderful daughters, Angela and Lisa, who are out changing their communities.  Then Saryn, my granddaughter, joined us for a Father/Daughter event.  It is my joy to serve them as dad and granddad.

They have loved me and live through all my mistakes as a dad and the ones I still have yet to make.  Lifelong Dads, Kids Need ‘Em.

There are others that call me Poppa.  They’ve adopted me.  Bendiciones, Beatriz, Marthe, y Elizabeth.  Ustedes son hijas de mi corazón.

How beautiful it is to love and be loved.