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Denial is not a river in Egypt

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18abuse-1-master675Domestic (family) violence, abusive relalationships in high school, child abuse, and road rage seem to be the talk of the day.  Until it comes to my house.  Then it doesn’t exist.  Then it is something that needs relational counseling.  We love each other.  Love does not stop violence.  Violence unaddressed does not stop, it escalates.

Violence does not submit to relational counseling or classes in most instances.  It is serious, progressive in intensity and frequency, and takes intervention, not denial.

This article in the New York Times reads like a text book on the issue.  The violater says, “I only defend myself.”  That is text book.  That usually is the mark of a dangerous offender.  I’m glad these women are alive.  Many are killed when they separate after violence reaches the levels reported.  And the violater most times goes free.  Love does not stop violenceViolence unaddressed does not stop, it escalates.

This is a control issue.  It starts with words and escalates.  It is unnecessary.  No one should submit to this.  Pastors and organizations errantly advise working with it in patience versus intervention.  Get smart.  Call 2-1-1 and get some help.  Love does not stop violence. Violence unaddressed does not stop, it escalates.

I have a man, who calls frequently trying to justify his abuse as everyone else’s fault.  Like any addicted individual, it is always the other person.

A woman in one of our classes recently escaped from one relationship and I pray and call her to coach to not enter another one.  We do that, you know.  We put ourselves back at risk and convince ourselves surely the next person really loves me.  Love does not stop violence. Violence unaddressed does not stop, it escalates.

Family violence comes in all colors and ages.  It is not a racial issue.  It is a human issue.  Love does not stop violence.  Violence unaddressed does not stop, it escalates.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/18/sports/wives-in-domestic-abuse-cases-say-nfl-culture-made-them-feel-trapped.html?_r=0


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