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Monthly Archives: January 2015

Forsaken? A Smooth Path Forward

Psalm 27:10-13 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. Teach me Your way, O Lord, And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out violence. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.

Our nation cringes in a fatherless morass. 40% of our children go to bed with dad gone. 40% are being born into never married situation in an unprecedented spiral of fractured family. People care. I know you care, Greater Mt. Carmel.

The impact of a fatherless family leans to poverty, behavioral disorder, juvenile detention, suicide, and drop outs in school. No one wants that society. The impact of fatherfulness leads to better school performance, increased compassion, stable and secure identity, and a better life forward.

I pray you find ways to develop the environment of stable families through your action and example. Families need a smooth path. Families need relief from their adversaries. Families need escape from false ideologies that do violence to our children. You can give heart to families to see goodness in their lives now.  You can be the hand of this scriptural promise.  You can live a prophetic life of change.

The two links below speak to ways men can encourage their sons and daughters into a different life. Really, we all can encourage a better life forward for our neighborhood, congregation, community, state, and nation. It just takes each of us doing what we can do.

Father, here is a family and friend. I friend and family before you. Whether a family of one or many, bless the home. Be the smooth path.  Give relief from adversaries. Walk in escape from false ideologies that do damage to protection and provision and contentment and commitment and nurturing. Give heart  to see goodness in this life, now.

CrimeSceneRecovery

MoreThanASpermDonor

To make a difference today support CTI’s work among hard pressed families restoring hope with education, encouragement and engagement (click here).

Phil Larson 405-388-8037
www.communitytransformationinitiative.org (blog,FB,Twitter,Slideshare)
to support financially
Community Transformation c/o PrayerMetro, Inc. 501c3
508 Tumbleweed Dr. Yukon, Ok 73099
Share every good thing you have with anyone who teaches you what God has said (CEV) Galatians 6:6
I am not trying to get something from you, but I want you to receive the blessings that come from giving. Philippians 4:17

Crime Scene Recovery

You’ve watched it.  Some CSI show captures your attention and you watch it for years.  Las Vegas, New York, San Francisco, whatever, and whenever your senses are tickled by the obtuse and violent trends in society.  Over supper, you watch blood and gore and grim.  In time you are desensitzed.

In the rooms of your home another crime scene is being repeated.  The number one cause of death in ages 10-24 is accidental death, followed by suicide and murder.  70% of death in this age range is violent.  According to CDC surveys reported by Child Trends “High school males are more than three times as likely as females to carry a weapon (28 and eight percent, respectively, in 2013). This difference holds for all racial and ethnic subgroups, as well as at each grade level. (Figure 2) The prevalence of carrying a weapon, however, has declined significantly among both males and females (by 15 and four percentage points, respectively) since 1991. teenscarryingweaponsbyrace

What?  What is going on here?  We are talking in many cases 1 in 3 high schools students carrying a weapon.  Is life really that violent for them?  What fear causes that?  Are they being aggressive or defensive?  Do you know your own house?

Men, you have the power to protect.  While working for over a decade with Dr. Ken Canfield and the National Center For Fathering, one of the Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers stands out as Protect and Provide.  But, we aren’t doing the job.  So many men have stepped off the curb of manhood and integrity that our young men are resorting to violence to protect themselves and assert their ideas and identities.

The Huffington Post has a great eye opener to this violence trend in youth and relationships.  Don’t read it unless you are ready to weep and have tctiss2014familyviolencebyageyour sensibilities stripped back to reality.  We have and epidemic of violence.

Take a look at the graph.  You will see that family violence offenders are predominant in ages 20-39 and too high in ages 15-any age.  Our young men are angry and taking it out on others.  No, all offenders are not men.  But the preponderance are.

Fatherless young men are perpetuating fatherless young men and women.

Men, you can make a difference.  You can give this generation a better view of the world and you can still this storm with your compassion and concern

What can a man do when the foundations have been destroyed and violence reigns?

. Men, listen to your sons.  Listen with your mouth closed.  Get into a Life Skills class and build some new skills.

. Men and women, resolve your own angst and develop new insights as a parent.  Get support.

. Couples, young, old, planning to marry, struggling through coupleness, never married… Take action.  Get moving.

. Men, get control of your eyes and examples.  What are you teaching through your life?

. Men, do something kind to your child’s mother every week that they can see without having to try to see it.  I don’t care if she hates you or not.  I don’t care if she is married to you or not.  Your children are watching you.

. Men, contain your habit of awfulizing.

What is AWFULIZING? n. refers to an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations, or perceived threats. AWFULIZING: “A person who engages in awfulizing, likely predicts the most catastrophic outcome in every circumstance.” Psychology Dictionary

. Men, put hope and healing into your language and actions.  Find a way to apologizing for your disconnection, absence, and anger.  You are the stronger one.  Begin the journey.

Need help:  

 

 

More Than A Sperm Donor

One of the most common names for fathers today among teen girls is “sperm donor”.  Yes, it is common and frequent.  Ask anyone working with young women.  That is an name of anger and angst.  Why would any daughter call her father such a name?  Why is it so common.

I hope you are a father of  teen or twenty-something daughter reading this note.  You need to change.  You need to do something significant in your family, relationship, and community.

Over the years in OKC, we’ve sponsored hundreds of couples of men and their teens and twenty-something daughters in conjunction with a Father/Daughter Summit.  They come into the door with enough room between them for another person to walk.  They leave side by side.  A miracle happens on those days.

It is harder and harder to make that happen.  Overall fatherless families are on a major rise.  The worse trend is that overall births to unmarried women are on the rise among women in their twenties, thirties, and forties.  This is not a teenage trend.  It is a national epidemic.  Over 40% of births fall into the unmarried category.  Fifty years ago this was less than 1% and mostly young teens.  Now it is becoming a norm.  It is unheard of in history.unmarriedbirthsbyage

Women have been abandoned by a most important male.  Fathers have flown the coop.  Sperm donors don’t inspire stable families for future generations.  Why would you get married to a man, who is headed out the door?  Why not just do it on your own?

Take a hard look at the numbers.  The increase in unmarried births among all races is escalated at frightening percentages.

What can a man do when the foundations are being destroyed?

Men, you have the power to turn the tide.  You can be more than a sperm donor.  You can be a caring and listening man to your daughter.  You can be a visible and compassionate example to daughters in the community alongside your wife.

. As a couple, choose to mentor a young woman.

. As a man, be there for your daughter.

. As a man, get control of your eyes and actions.

. As a man, speak well of women and quit your griping.

. As a couple, be visible in the community in loving leadership.

. As a man, find a place to serve outside your isolation.

Be more than a sperm donor.  Put glue into the fractures of today’s families.unmarriedbirths