You’ve watched it. Some CSI show captures your attention and you watch it for years. Las Vegas, New York, San Francisco, whatever, and whenever your senses are tickled by the obtuse and violent trends in society. Over supper, you watch blood and gore and grim. In time you are desensitzed.
In the rooms of your home another crime scene is being repeated. The number one cause of death in ages 10-24 is accidental death, followed by suicide and murder. 70% of death in this age range is violent. According to CDC surveys reported by Child Trends “High school males are more than three times as likely as females to carry a weapon (28 and eight percent, respectively, in 2013). This difference holds for all racial and ethnic subgroups, as well as at each grade level. (Figure 2) The prevalence of carrying a weapon, however, has declined significantly among both males and females (by 15 and four percentage points, respectively) since 1991.
What? What is going on here? We are talking in many cases 1 in 3 high schools students carrying a weapon. Is life really that violent for them? What fear causes that? Are they being aggressive or defensive? Do you know your own house?
Men, you have the power to protect. While working for over a decade with Dr. Ken Canfield and the National Center For Fathering, one of the Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers stands out as Protect and Provide. But, we aren’t doing the job. So many men have stepped off the curb of manhood and integrity that our young men are resorting to violence to protect themselves and assert their ideas and identities.
The Huffington Post has a great eye opener to this violence trend in youth and relationships. Don’t read it unless you are ready to weep and have your sensibilities stripped back to reality. We have and epidemic of violence.
Take a look at the graph. You will see that family violence offenders are predominant in ages 20-39 and too high in ages 15-any age. Our young men are angry and taking it out on others. No, all offenders are not men. But the preponderance are.
Fatherless young men are perpetuating fatherless young men and women.
Men, you can make a difference. You can give this generation a better view of the world and you can still this storm with your compassion and concern
What can a man do when the foundations have been destroyed and violence reigns?
. Men, listen to your sons. Listen with your mouth closed. Get into a Life Skills class and build some new skills.
. Men and women, resolve your own angst and develop new insights as a parent. Get support.
. Couples, young, old, planning to marry, struggling through coupleness, never married… Take action. Get moving.
. Men, get control of your eyes and examples. What are you teaching through your life?
. Men, do something kind to your child’s mother every week that they can see without having to try to see it. I don’t care if she hates you or not. I don’t care if she is married to you or not. Your children are watching you.
. Men, contain your habit of awfulizing.
What is AWFULIZING? n. refers to an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations, or perceived threats. AWFULIZING: “A person who engages in awfulizing, likely predicts the most catastrophic outcome in every circumstance.” Psychology Dictionary
. Men, put hope and healing into your language and actions. Find a way to apologizing for your disconnection, absence, and anger. You are the stronger one. Begin the journey.