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Forsaken? A Smooth Path Forward

Psalm 27:10-13 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. Teach me Your way, O Lord, And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out violence. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.

Our nation cringes in a fatherless morass. 40% of our children go to bed with dad gone. 40% are being born into never married situation in an unprecedented spiral of fractured family. People care. I know you care, Greater Mt. Carmel.

The impact of a fatherless family leans to poverty, behavioral disorder, juvenile detention, suicide, and drop outs in school. No one wants that society. The impact of fatherfulness leads to better school performance, increased compassion, stable and secure identity, and a better life forward.

I pray you find ways to develop the environment of stable families through your action and example. Families need a smooth path. Families need relief from their adversaries. Families need escape from false ideologies that do violence to our children. You can give heart to families to see goodness in their lives now.  You can be the hand of this scriptural promise.  You can live a prophetic life of change.

The two links below speak to ways men can encourage their sons and daughters into a different life. Really, we all can encourage a better life forward for our neighborhood, congregation, community, state, and nation. It just takes each of us doing what we can do.

Father, here is a family and friend. I friend and family before you. Whether a family of one or many, bless the home. Be the smooth path.  Give relief from adversaries. Walk in escape from false ideologies that do damage to protection and provision and contentment and commitment and nurturing. Give heart  to see goodness in this life, now.



To make a difference today support CTI’s work among hard pressed families restoring hope with education, encouragement and engagement (click here).

Phil Larson 405-388-8037
www.communitytransformationinitiative.org (blog,FB,Twitter,Slideshare)
to support financially
Community Transformation c/o PrayerMetro, Inc. 501c3
508 Tumbleweed Dr. Yukon, Ok 73099
Share every good thing you have with anyone who teaches you what God has said (CEV) Galatians 6:6
I am not trying to get something from you, but I want you to receive the blessings that come from giving. Philippians 4:17

More Than A Sperm Donor

One of the most common names for fathers today among teen girls is “sperm donor”.  Yes, it is common and frequent.  Ask anyone working with young women.  That is an name of anger and angst.  Why would any daughter call her father such a name?  Why is it so common.

I hope you are a father of  teen or twenty-something daughter reading this note.  You need to change.  You need to do something significant in your family, relationship, and community.

Over the years in OKC, we’ve sponsored hundreds of couples of men and their teens and twenty-something daughters in conjunction with a Father/Daughter Summit.  They come into the door with enough room between them for another person to walk.  They leave side by side.  A miracle happens on those days.

It is harder and harder to make that happen.  Overall fatherless families are on a major rise.  The worse trend is that overall births to unmarried women are on the rise among women in their twenties, thirties, and forties.  This is not a teenage trend.  It is a national epidemic.  Over 40% of births fall into the unmarried category.  Fifty years ago this was less than 1% and mostly young teens.  Now it is becoming a norm.  It is unheard of in history.unmarriedbirthsbyage

Women have been abandoned by a most important male.  Fathers have flown the coop.  Sperm donors don’t inspire stable families for future generations.  Why would you get married to a man, who is headed out the door?  Why not just do it on your own?

Take a hard look at the numbers.  The increase in unmarried births among all races is escalated at frightening percentages.

What can a man do when the foundations are being destroyed?

Men, you have the power to turn the tide.  You can be more than a sperm donor.  You can be a caring and listening man to your daughter.  You can be a visible and compassionate example to daughters in the community alongside your wife.

. As a couple, choose to mentor a young woman.

. As a man, be there for your daughter.

. As a man, get control of your eyes and actions.

. As a man, speak well of women and quit your griping.

. As a couple, be visible in the community in loving leadership.

. As a man, find a place to serve outside your isolation.

Be more than a sperm donor.  Put glue into the fractures of today’s families.unmarriedbirths

Act Like God

Get full information you need on how to connect effectively in transforming the community from fatherless to fathered in 2014 with your time, talent, and finances.  All He needs is all you have.  All you have is enough.Act Like God

Fearless Fathers Investors Report: Quick Look

GIVE …Make It Happen For a FatherLess Father and His Kids

FearlessInvestorsReportDec2013 pdf version

1.100% of first year budget raised

  • Luncheon and tournament


    GIVE….Make it happen for a Fatherless Father and His KIds

  • Sponsoring group for Gainesville
  • Light monthly support
  • A few Title Sponsors

2. Established ongoing projects in North, South, East, West and Gainesville

  • Tabitha – African American community – East OKC
  • Tulakes Elementary – 97% Fatherless School – North OKC
  • Epperly Heights Elementary – 97% Fatherless School – South OKC
  • Eagles’ Crest – Multicultural community – West OKC
  • Hope Connection – Multicultural community – Gainesville, Texas

3. All three outreaches of WatchDOGS, Dad’s University, FEARLESS Catalyst Weekends are working

  • Ramping up for online version of Dad’s University in two four week sessions
    • Established training cooperative with PREP for On My Shoulders to be offered out of Dad’s University
  • Fearless successful in West and East OKC – East OKC catalyst weekend is May 3rd, Gainesville catalyst weekend is Fathers Day, June 14th
  • WatchDOGS building in North and South OKC..more commitments are coming

4. Good connections with

  • National Center for Fathering
  • The Mentoring Project
  • Life Church NorthWest
  • International Pentecostal Holiness Church
  • St. John’s Missionary Baptist
  • East Zion Men’s District Association


    GIVE…Make It Happen For A FatherLess Father and His Kids

  • SALLT –Women’s Dignity
  • Jesus House
  • Prep, Inc

A Chinese Father’s Most Important Job

It does not matter as much what you do as a father as the heart and investment you make.  Stay deeply engaged with your children.  A good analysis of studies in China follows in this WSJ article.

“When it comes to parenting, Chinese fathers say the most important role they play is that of the family chauffeur.

In a survey of 500 Chinese fathersreleased earlier this week by communications company JWT, respondents ranked driving their children to extracurricular activities and to school first and second, respectively, as the childcare responsibilities they most viewed as the responsibility of the male in the family. More than two-thirds of Chinese fathers surveyed said they saw these tasks as their responsibilities, not their wives’.

Fathers ranked handling doctor visits, disciplining children and helping with homework third through fifth on the list of daddy jobs.

Chinese men view parenting differently from their American counterparts. In a similar survey completed in the U.S. earlier this year, more than 80% of American fathers said discipline was their top role, with homework help ranking second.

Zhang Xiaoyan, a housewife in Shanghai, complained that driving the children is the only task her husband does at home. Men are under greater stress to support the family by working long hours, so they want “easy” tasks that don’t involve a lot of thinking, she said.”

http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2013/11/21/a-chinese-fathers-most-important-job/  read the rest here.

Sorting Through Backpacks.. What is missing?


Last weekend in Moquetito, Gualaneno, and Matamoros preceeded this weekend at Tulakes in Oklahoma City.  Hundreds of backpacks were given out.  Thousands of pencils, paper, crayons and other supplies dropped into the hand of kids.  Incredible people came together to help.  Sacrifice after sacrifice is made to help.  Every child will return to poverty and hunger. 

They will smile for a day.  With pride they will remember as they go to school as scheduled.  A little higher step will accompany them as they walk in with a new backpack.  And they will return to knawing hunger for more.  What is missing?

Fathers don’t fit in backpacks.  In every neighborhood and city, fathers are missing.  My mind wanders through the myriads of kids anf families that have walked in front of the teams.  Many times I step back and count.  400 kids and seven fathers.  150 kids and three fathers.  50 kids and no fathers.  They don’t fit in backpacks.

An unfathered child is twice as likely to drop out and ten times as likely to be extremely poor.  Suicide, early sexual activity, behavior disorder, and jail will statistically pursue her into adulthood. 

Even if he is lucky enough to be one of the 60% with a father living in the home, chances of a healthy, involved, caring, engaged dad diminish as he gains age.  By 18 the majority have lived a few years unfathered. 

60% of men admit to extramarital affairs and the family drift builds. 40% of men on the road own up to buying sex while away from home.  Drift, dabble, and disaster dwarf health and emotional stability.

Fathers don’t fit in backpacks.  I wish they did.  I wish I could give each child her backpack with a Dad in the main pocket.  He can bring better grades, higher achievement, strengthening play and greater chances for any child.

In every place I listened as men asked for father training.  J talked about his disturbed stepson.  His eyes watered as he asked when our next Dad’s University would come to his neighbborhood.  In Mexico Los Secretos on fathering books were treated like treasure.  P looked at me and broke into weeping.  Many are holding up the banner in tough circumstance just needing encouragement and training.

Thanks to all the men in each of these neighborhoods who are holding ground.  Thanks to over 50 men at Tabitha who made public commitments to family  Thanks to Raul, Maricioz, Abdiel, Luke, Robb, Eugene, Brandon and others who sacificed big to encourage.  Thanks to the men of the Loving Lyrewood churches who made some child’s day at Tulakes.  Thanks, Jerry and Bobbie for your service yesterday.  I wish you fit in a backpack and you could go home with a kid.  Know that your smile and example will do just that.

Let’s keep pressing.


Fatherless Fathers Discuss Breaking The Cycle: New Dad Says ‘I Forgave My Dad’ (VIDEO)

One of our greatest impacts at Community Transformation tends to be helping men break this cycle. Love this story.

Fatherless Fathers Discuss Breaking The Cycle: New Dad Says 'I Forgave My Dad' (VIDEO).

The Time To Get This Done Is Right Now!

This update takes 2 minutes to read and understand.

philsittingmapThe time to get this done is right now.  Build a father. Build a child. Build a generation.  Put healthy, dedicated men in front of our kids.

This map of high fatherless census tracts in OKC disturbs me.  Epidemic fatherless homes plague our community, our state, and
our nation.

Change is possible and probable with your support.  We aren’t talking, we are acting in neighborhoods, schools, and homes.


On Sept 16th,  National community leaders such as Carey Casey, CEO of the National Center for Fathering, and Hon. James Lankford, U.S. House of Representatives, mixed with local legislators, pastors, business leaders, education leaders, non-profit leaders, media leaders, and international church leaders in a powerful dynamic.  The energy and interchange overflowed for hours and continues as leaders connect heart to heart with other leaders on a national malaise.  Our fatherless culture needs revision.  We have the capacity to make it happen when all comes together.

The powerful presence of men of faith and action convened was evident to all.  There were many comments concerning the spirit and excitement in the room.

Support made it happen.

I cannot thank those that participated enough. Your leadership in support  enables families to be restored.

At the event, the men’s leadership of 52 churches committed to work together with us in the highest fatherless schools.  At the event, a high school 9th grade football team requested our help in recovering from a coach sex scandal.  At the event, a father wept as he told how his daughter has reopened relationship with him after 21 years.  He has been applying principles taught in our outreaches and it is healing his family. She brought to him for the first time four grandchildren, some in their teens, to meet grandpa.

All of this takes harvesting.  The hard work of reaching fatherless fathers and fatherless kids presents itself every morning.

These Champions for Fathers joined and continue to join (see bios and pics below)

  • Carey Casey, CEO of the National Center for Fathering
  • Hon. James Lankford, Champion for Fathers in D.C.,
  • Chuck Bowman, FCA Champion,
  • Larry Campbell, Champion PGA Pro.programs
  • Phil Larson, Director of TCTI
  • Imagenet Consulting
  • R.K. Black
  • KeyEvado
  • Shepherd Consulting
  • Kimray
  • B C Clark
  • PFS Systems
  • keyevado
  • Lee Roland, Principal at Tulakes Elementary
  • Kevin Hill, Principal at Epperly Heights Elementary
  • Dr. Major Jemison
  • Bishop Frank Tunstall
  • Bishop D. Chris Thompson
  • Pastor Calvin Miller
  • Pastor David Oxley
  • Rep. John Bennett
  • Rep. Larry Boggs
  • and on and on and on

You have the opportunity to give!  <==Click It!  Or go to The Giving Page.

Meet The Champions of Fathering 2013

careySpecial luncheon guest,Carey Casey, is Chief Executive Officer of the Kansas City-based National Center for Fathering and the author of Championship Fathering (2009) and is the General Editor of the book, The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge (2011). He and his wife, Melanie, have four children and seven grandchildren.

Casey has earned a reputation as a dynamic communicator and as a compassionate ambassador, especially among men, fathers, and those in the sports community. Carey served as chaplain for the Kansas City Chiefs and his career has included serving as chaplain for other NFL Teams, including the Dallas Cowboys under Hall of Fame Coach Tom Landry, as well as for the US Olympic team at the 1988 Summer Games in Seoul, South Korea. Carey was also co-pastor of a church in inner-city Chicago and spent 18 years in various roles with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. In 2010, Carey served on the White House Task Force on Fatherhood and Healthy Families with the White House Office of Faith Based and Neighborhood Partnerships . He also serves as a member of the National Fatherhood Leaders Group, which promotes responsible fatherhood policy, research, advocacy and practice.

lankfordCongressman James Lankford serves as another Chair in our event. James Lankford was first elected to the United States Congress on November 2, 2010. Before his election James served s director of the Falls Creek Youth Camp from 1996 to 2009. Falls Creek is the largest youth camp in the United States, supported by 150 staff members with more than 51,000 students and adults attending each summer. He coordinated mission trips and community service trips in Belize, Malawi, England, Wales, and Germany, as well as many areas of Oklahoma. James serves on the House Committees on Budget and Oversight & Government Reform, where he is the Chairman of the Subcommittee on Energy Policy, Health Care, and Entitlements. James was also elected Chairman of the House Republican Policy Committee for the 113th Congress.

While serving in Congress, James continues to work diligently studying each issue facing Congress and its impact on families in Oklahoma. He has earned the respect of his colleagues on budget issues. James also emerged as a leader in fighting government regulations that are suffocating business today. From EPA regulations on the energy industry to the negative impact of regulations on banks and financial institutions, Congressman Lankford is fighting for prosperity in Oklahoma and our nation. He is dedicated to freeing up business to grow and add jobs to our sagging economy.

James has been married to his wife Cindy for over 20 years. Together, they have two daughters: Hannah and Jordan. He enjoys spending time with his family, sport shooting, and reading.

bowmanAnother chair and a man dear to my heart is Chuck Bowman. Barry Trammel calls Chuck Bowman, “Mister Oklahoma Sports”.

He played football for Bud Wilkinson. Coached at Tulsa Central in the 1960s with Eddie Sutton. Ran chapel services for Barry Switzer in the 1980s. Attended the very first Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp in 1956 and the next year at Estes Park, Colo., met a young Nebraska lad named Tom Osborne.

And in 1973, Bowman became the first director of the Oklahoma FCA.

Bowman retired after 31 years with the organization.

“The key to the whole 31 years was high school coaches,” Bowman said. “Without that coach … in little towns across America … we would never have access to that kid.”

Bowman knows how FCA can impact a young person. Almost 50 years ago, it changed his life.

Bowman grew up a football star in Ponca City, where for 60 years his mother taught a Bible class at the First Baptist Church.

Then Bowman went to OU and played on some of the greatest teams in college football history. But he wasn’t a star like his best friends, Clendon Thomas and Bill Krisher.

“From a Friday night hero, I went to a Saturday sideline grass killer at OU, and it was tough,” Bowman said.

But in spring 1956, Wilkinson introduced FCA to the Sooner campus. He brought in three huge names in sport Otto Graham, Doak Walker and Pepper Martin to talk up FCA, and Bowman found a passion.

He and nine teammates attended that first FCA camp, then he, Krisher and Thomas began driving around Oklahoma, touting the new ministry and sharing testimonies.

campbellLarry Campbell will be providing personal coaching before the tournament begins.  He started playing golf at the young age of 14 yrs old and is a member of the South Central Section.  He was head golf professional at the Hardscabble Country Club in Ft. Smith, Ark. for 20 years.  He has played and won many golf tournaments during his life time of golf, holds several golf course records over the U.S., and has had 9 Hole in Ones in his golf career. Campbell, P.G.A. Golf Professional

He is married to Gayla, (Realtor) and they have lived in Edmond for 20+ years.   Larry enjoys playing golf and fishing with his grandsons, Hunter and Wyatt.

They attend the Crossings Community Church, avid fans of OU Football and the OKC Thunder and enjoy their vacation home in S. Padre Island.

philPhil Larson is the Director of the Community Transformation Initiative.  Alongside serving as a professional business manager for such great companies as TG&Y, Baptist Medical Center, C.R. Anthony’s, and American Fidelity, Phil has always stayed connected and passionate for families in the community.  His leadership in OKC over the last 15 years working in partnership the National Center for Fathering, CBMC, the Oklahoma Family Policy Council, Character First, the State Dept of Health and over 200 congregations representing denominational and cultural diversity has resulted in thousands of families impacted in our metro.

His passion to develop fatherless fathers into dedicated dads and provide healthy, dedicated fathers for our children has resulted in a strategic attack plan for OKC the includes catalyst weekends, mentor development, Dad’s University, and putting healthy, dedicated men on the ground in schools where father disconnect rates exceed 80% through WatchD.O.G.S.  This luncheon and tournament is all about helping our city understand and connect to change the statistics through building men, who build a new generation based on moral strength, responsible behavior, and relational health.

Inductees Into the Fathering Hall of Fame

Two key members of the Oklahoma City Community that are affecting kids in positive demonstration of dedicated and healthy fathering were honored.

leerolandLee Roland

Lee is the 6th son of Dewitt and Eula Roland. He has one younger sister. He married Wanda Roland on December 22, 1979. They have two children, Irving 32 years old and Chanel 27 years old. Lee is a minister at Saint Luke Baptist Church, where his father pastored for 30 years before passing away. In his free time, he loves to play golf and spend time with his family.
Mr. Lee Roland has been an educator and administrator for over 20 years. Lee has always labored exhaustively yet ardently in the field to both serve and meet the needs of students, parents, and teachers – it’s his “calling.”  His dedication and determination is clearly evident as he unceasingly endeavors to inspire and propel others who serve, to touch lives and make a difference, particularly for children.
In addition to enjoying great success in his roles of building principals and central office administration, Lee has spoken and presented at numerous conferences, venues and workshops across the state and country, particularly on the subjects of character education and teacher efficacy.  Mr. Roland has and continues to serve on numerous city and community boards, all involving the welfare of children.  In short, Lee Roland believes that it is the responsibility of educators and adults to improve our society via public education, which he passionately strives to do each and every single day – yes, “leave no child behind”!
Finally, Mr. Roland is an associate minister at St. Luke Baptist Church in Spencer.  Among his most cherished roles is children’s church minister and Sunday school teacher. Lee has conducted revivals, family retreats, and preached across the city, state, and country.  He has also been involved with many other initiatives in ministry, civic, and professionally. However, he is simply most grateful to be one of God’s soldiers on the battlefield with a goal of one day hearing the Father say: “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

kevinhillKevin C. Hill
Married for 28 years to Richinda Hill.

He and his wife has 2 children from this blessed union. Kacy 26 and Kayla 23.. 1 Granddaughter Milena 15 months.
Kevin has immersed himself in the area of elementary education for over 28 years as a Teacher, Coach, Headmaster, Assistant Principal and Principal. He has been blessed with numerous accommodations for his commitment and passion for the betterment of children, to include being named site teacher of the year, Mid-Del Teacher of the Year, and State Finalist for Teacher of the Year. He currently serves as the Principal of Epperly Heights Elementary in Del City.

Kevin has honorably served his country by being part of the Oklahoma Air National Guard for over 15 years.  He has achieved the rank of Master Sergeant and currently serves as the 137 ARW First Sergeant of the Logistic Readiness Squadron. MSgt. Hill has been decorated with numerous service ribbons to include the Meritorious Service Medal, Air Force Achievement Medal, National Defense Service Medal, and the Air Force Longevity Medal to name a few.

Kevin is active in his community as well. He is a member and Assistant Pastor at Praise Assembly Ministries in Del City. He is the President Elect for the Del City Rotary Club. He has been a member of the Midwest City Kiwanis, Midwest City Citizen Police Academy, Tinker AFB Community Star Program, Del City Chamber Member, Epperly Heights Neighborhood Watch Association and others.

Forgotten Father’s Day

reposted from


Forgotten Father’s Day

Published: Friday, July 12, 2013 at 12:01 a.m.
Last Modified: Thursday, July 11, 2013 at 11:58 p.m.

I’m writing in reference to fathers and Father’s Day.

Mother’s Day comes, you can’t walk into a Publix store without balloons flying, cakes, cupcakes, get your Mother’s Day gifts everywhere. Thank God for mothers and fathers.

But I went to Publix on Father’s Day, and they didn’t have a single balloon. So, I went to a little store on Wabash to get my husband a balloon. A boy 13 years old agreed with me that you can’t find much for dads like you can for moms on their day.

Thank God for single dads, who sure don’t get credit for raising their children. How do I know about single dads? Because I have a son who was raised by his dad, who did a very good job. I know a lot of single dads who have raised and still are raising their children.

My heart and prayers go out to all single dads and moms.

Genesis 2:7, “God did make man first.”

It’s my prayer we all get into God’s word by faith. Pray. Believe. Receive. And also know it was God who ordained families. Genesis 2:24. It has always been God’s plan for families. Father and mother. Genesis 4:1.

I’m one like stories in the Bible. My life and families are not perfect. But thank God for his grace and mercy. Most of all for love and forgiveness.



The Call To Father

The Call To Father….. Listen to this interview of Phil Larson with talk show host Carol Gordon