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THINK!

SOLUM promotes thinking. Through studied application of cognitive restructuring, social skills, and problem resolution regimens a life can move forward. We see results daily.

In a recent study on mindfulness, it is determined that great logical thinkers like engineering students can develop better creativity also. So THINK is for all stages of economic and creative success? Yes.

How Mindfulness Can Help Engineers Solve Problems

Our January sessions start this Monday at 7pm. Take time to develop your creativity. Our average graduate increases their skills in core areas of thinking, social skills, and problem resolution by 200 to 300 percent. That is good stuff for you, your workplace and your family and friends. Anger reduces. Life is brighter. Who would not want that?

Get more information and register here. THINK! For a better life forward.


Contact me, the THINK Dr, Phil at phil@solumcommunity.net 940.580.4887

DADS, BE IMPORTANT AGAIN.

Cultural struggles tend to emphasize one area over another. Truthfully, many times many areas are important all at the same time. Dads are always important. Moms are always important. Grandparents are always important.

Recently, Dr. Ken Canfield, and a team bring life back to fathers.com (Fathers Are Important) and the fathering movement. It seems to have died out across the nation and become focused on the broken percentage of dads that were out of the mix. I am proud to be a part of that team and I encourage you to do your part in your home. Get in the mix. Put yourself back in the driver seat alongside the mother of your children.

Lifelong dads. Kids need ’em.

You are important. Live your role. 42% of kids have no father at home. Be one of the 58% of fathers that stay committed. 41% of children are born without a marriage. Be one of the 59% that have children in the safety and security of a committed relationship in marriage. Be the one.

Make fathering fashionable for your family.

Take a few minutes or hours and peruse the refreshed http://fathers.com. Put some holiday tips to work. Leave a donation for the team to be encouraged.

Family and Parenting Tip: Separate from Violence

Family and Parenting Tip: separate Yourself and Your Family from the Violent and the Scoffers
The better part of mercy is discretion. Research shows over and over that exposure to emotional, sexual, and physical violence destroys us physically and limits our future. That violence may be coming from a family member or a constant video game or Netflix or the movie theater or internet pornography. It may be promoted by a political party or even a church.
By exposing our hearts and minds to abusive and invalidating and demeaning images and relationships, we kill pieces of ourselves, injure our ability to make healthy attachments, and become channels of deatruction to ourselves and others. What you take in is what you give out.
Get containment over your family.
Discuss the violence you see in politics and the world with your family.
Promote peaceful and respectful relationships and words.
Break off friendship time with scornful and bitter people.
Be courageous to protect the trust of body, mind, emotions, and relationships.
Break cycles of denial in your personal life. When we stay in an unhealthy relationship we damage ourselves and everyone around us. The controller uses our compassion to poison our souls. Others that we love and have a good heart are as offended by us as we are offended by the controller. We become carriers of pain and poison.
Really love those you love. Break away from controlling and angry people. Put up barriers of time and space. Love those who love you and build a healthy and safe life.

Will you rise with a listening ear and a compassionate heart and faith the follows through?

Will you rise with a listening ear and a compassionate heart and faith the follows through?

In these United States, there are some outliers that seek to breed a new division.  It like so many divisions of the past will be conquered and unity will prevail.  Short answers are not welcome.  Long listening is needed.

In the original war between the states, the United States divided over many issues. The biggest was the issue of individual and state rights versus federal oversight and decision making.  Along with that came the issue of slavery, a heinous institution that continues to plague our world and be accepted in the darker corners of the USA in human trafficking and domestic violence.  Those institutions don’t worry about race and color or even age.  They exhibit the willfulness of mankind to control the lives of those deemed weaker.

In the original war, we lost more men than in all other wars combined.

In the original war, we moved on to enslave and slaughter the Native American while attempting to free the African American.

In the original war, men like U. S. Grant kept slaves and fought for the Union and men like Robert E. Lee spoke against slavery and fought for his state of Virginia and the Confederacy.  It was a time, where honor and duty was to family, community and state and the divisions ran deep and deadly.  Brother killed brother.  Neighbors killed neighbors.   As a nation, we have come far and have far to go.  People will be people.

In the original war, we found peace as a nation through decades of unity.  World War I and II brought all together in a common fight.  After WWI, the Southern states began celebrating Memorial Day along with the Northern states.  It took a long time and a common pain to bring the nation to semblance of healing.  Civil rights remained uncivilly distributed and still pose issues causing us to work to decide what is a right and what is a privilege and what is a personal preference.  It is not easy work.  Our streets ran with blood during the civil rights marches and they run red again with anger and violence.

In the current war of ideas and preference, we move every day closer to destructive disunity.  National treasures such as the right to free speech are trampled. National treasures such as the belief that all mankind is created equal and worthy of due dignity and respect are trampled. Today, it is a few.  But a few can be built to many and many can destroy the union.  The union is a fragile commitment to civil discourse and respect of differences.  Multi-cultural means respect for differences not blind robotic similarity.   A man’s heart is a man’s heart and it will not be changed by imposition and anger.  It is changed in discourse and compassion.  Hate builds hate.  Compassion and contrition builds friends.

Compassion is what we have lost. In our search for meaningless meaning and trivial attributions we have abandoned our God and our commitments.  Marriage is meaningless.  Children are abandoned by their fathers at birth or shortly thereafter.  Our churches, our deepest social glue, are empty and entertaining.  Employee and employer have no real relationship but money and benefits.  We are like overused Velcro, ready to disconnect at the slightest pressure.

Compassion breeds commitment.  Compassion means we see and feel the hurt and pain of another and are moved to do something to relieve it.  Anger wants to relive it not relieve it.  Anger wants to point fingers and blame and shame.  Compassion wishes to hide the hurt and find a solution.  We have regulations that prevent speaking of medical and financial conditions, but no such honor of the issues and diseases of the heart.

Compassion breeds contrition. As a child, I was raised in a church that took a moment in every service to acknowledged that each of us is flawed and working it out.  As a community, we looked at each other and admitted our broken condition that we might look at each other in support of repair.  We knew we each were wrong.  We reminded each other and committed to grow a better life.

As I child my mother and father taught me respect for others regardless of their emotional, mental, financial or physical pains.  Hate is a pain bred of fear.  Fear is a pain bred of lack of love.  Love is a commitment to forgive and heal and sometimes overlook.  Love in action kills fear and disarms hate.

The only thing that will win this war of ideals will be acts of contrition, commitment, and compassion. 
There is a third party missing in the battle.  The voice of compassion can look at a rebellious flag, statue, or organization and speak peace.  Martin Luther King, Jr and those that followed him attempted to teach us that.  The voice of compassion can speak loudly a right direction in the face of strong opposition without violence without hate without anger.  William Wilberforce and the strugglers in England that brought about deep social change and ended slavery in the United Kingdom taught us that.  It is men and women of faith that have been our salvation in free nations over the history of mankind. It is not the men and women of war and hate that have prevailed in our free nations.

Should we follow the lines of hate and imposition versus compassion, we will become like others that give up freedom to be right and then have no rights.  Should the right hearted rise up and take the streets with compassion and faith, this moment too shall pass and be written in the history books as an uncivil unrest that was conquered by community.

Will you rise?  Is there an ounce of compassion to understand and listen in you?  Will you listen long and speak slowly?  Should enough join in this then the voices of dissension will go quietly and as a nation we will move another step forward in our quest for deeper unity.  It won’t be easy.  It never is.

Maybe we will become more disgusted with human trafficking and family violence and seek long lasting solutions. Maybe we develop strong patience to understand our nation of immigrants must merge and merge and merge again with growing ideas and assimilation of cultures.  That process never ends in a free nation.  We change.  We morph.

But to destroy our treasures of freedom of speech, religion, and assembly is frightening and unacceptable.  To destroy the dignity of mankind is frightening and unacceptable.  To destroy the free pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness is frightening and unacceptable. To fracture our families and accept and indenture any is frightening and unacceptable.  Our nation has freedoms. Will you rise with a listening ear and a compassionate heart and faith the follows through?

Radiant with Hope

Be Radiant with Hope: Family Facts and Encouragement

Romans 15:13J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS) 13 May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace in your faith, that by the power of the Holy Spirit, your whole life and outlook may be radiant with hope.

Radiant with hope is a great phrase. This world, this nation, and our states seem far from radiant with hope.  It can seem irradiant, dull, ghostly, dim, and dismal.  Yet, friend, we can be radiant with hope. We can see a better day, a better future, a better life for us and others.  It is a perspective and a perspicacious follow through of hope that guides us. We have seen better. We have overcome worse days in our personal life and will conquer more.

Some; however, have not see better days. Maybe they have not lived long enough or in enough variety to understand what can and cannot be conquered.  That leaves a destitute attitude based on factoids and fears.   Friend, we can give them something different only if we have it ourselves. Stir it up.  Shake off the dust.  Remember from whence you came.  Let the radiance of hope be stirred in you and through you to others.

May the Fatherphilheadanimation of all Comfort stir up a hope inside of you that pours radiantly over your friends, family, and coworkers in a manner that brings hope and joy to all.  Phil

Celebration of Life and Family: This Spring, we are celebrating life rachellesmalland family at SOLUM.  Our hope is radiant as we witness the power of evidence based approaches coupled with compassion and persistence in struggling individuals and families.

  1. Check our our 2016 Results and 2017 Plans Just click
  2.  Check out the celebration and join where you can. Just click

Family Facts: The rise of prescription drug addictions, death, and family destruction is interlinked with the rise of heroin. Together they are having a devastating effect. Alternative forms of healthcare and recovery are needed.

“A lot of times family members just think that there’s just a ‘say no’ type approach, that if you’re not gonna get high, end of story, it should be all better, let’s go back to life as we knew it. They fail to understand that sometimes…we quit being the family member that loved ones thought we were. We become somebody else.” Mike M.

The abuse of and addiction to opioids is a serious and challenging public health problem. Deaths from drug overdose have risen steadily over the past two decades and have become the leading cause of injury death in the United States.1 Prescription drugs, especially opioid analgesics—a class of prescription drugs such as hydrocodone, oxycodone, morphine, and methadone used to treat both acute and chronic pain— have increasingly been implicated in drug overdose deaths over the last decade.2,3 From 1999 to 2013, the rate for drug poisoning deaths involving opioid analgesics nearly quadrupled.4 Deaths related to heroin have also increased sharply since 2010, with a 39 percent increase between 2012 and 2013.5 Given these alarming trends, it is time for a smart and sustainable response to prevent opioid abuse and overdose and treat people with opioid use disorder.   ASPE Health and Human Services Report

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Phil Larson, President ;-{) cell/text 405.388.8037

SOLUM Community Transformation Initiative

3404 N Grand Ave, Gainesville, Tx 76240   940.580.4887

 

What Love Is and Why It Matters

What Love Is and Why it Matters:
Love is an overused and under lived term. It is used to justify many actions and accuse others of lack of compassion or sympathy or empathy or pity or interest or active intervention or many of it’s other interpretations and nuances. Interesting that love is used often in accusations, though the nature of love does not accuse.
1 John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
The standard of love is proactive sacrificial service.
What does this conversation have to do with living and leading? A lot.
When love ceases to be a wanted or needed motivation for success, then congregational, family, and community service is not a service. Politics breeds dissent and dissatisfaction and discouragement and dissonance in an atmosphere of power brokering, control, dominance, greed, and avarice. Politics enters all avenues of life. That is a world without proactive sacrificial service and that is our dilemma.
Love doesn’t parade pain. Ever have that friend that is always talking about how badly life and others treat them? That is not love speaking. That is pride shouting.
As the nation decides on many issues, including the qualities of leadership we desire most in our selection of a president, I encourage you to be true to yourself and the service of your loved ones. Love them. Proactively and sacrificially serve them. We depend on you to have love bouncing around as a core motivation in all you do. Your family depends on you. Your community depends on you. Your congregation depends on you.
Father, fill my friend with love. Attack the demons of disastrous disillusionment and inspire bright hope in a better day. Let my friend see with eyes of service and feel with a heart of goodwill. Let love rule and displace the pain of our nation.
Family Facts: Depression becomes a high impact item in childcare resulting in generational trends.

@considerwell ;-{) #phil@hclive.org

Capital Chaos Disturbs Us All: A Call To Pray

joyfulgenerationsPsalm 122:6 Pray for the peace of Jerusalem (your city): they shall prosper that love you. Peace be within the walls (places we all consider safe), and prosperity within the palaces (places of trade and government). For my brethren and companions’ sakes, I will now say, Peace be within thee.
Pray for and plan for the peace of your city.  Leaders do that. Leaders look to ensure right infrastructure is in place.  They plan for economic growth.  Education systems are intentionally developed. Healthcare is situated.  Community arts and social activities are set in place.  And then chaos attacks the peace of the city, the safety of hearts and minds, and the stability of home.
Nothing is more frightening than violence in the home, the safe place.  As we pray for the people of Paris and those assaulted in the Russion airliner and the thousands slaughtered in Syria and other countries, we pray for our cities and our homes.  The world is an unsafe place.  It has been greatly disturbed.  Our own schools and streets experience ever increasing violence. Even as we acknowledge these atrocities and attacks on peace of mind and stability, remember that one out of three women report being violently assaulted in their lifetime, one out of four young women will be sexually abused by age 16, 41% of our children are being born into never secure, never married homes.  While murder rages in the streets and skies, our homes are on fire from within.
Pray for both today.  Pray for our homes.  Pray for our safety.  Pray for your home, your city, and pray globally.
Father, we have lost touch with what is most important to You.  You call Yourself, Father, the Protector and Provider of homes and cities and nations.  Our guard is down.  Our lives are strewn to chaos.  Our streets are not safe from without or from within.  We are most heartily sorry for our part, Father.
Father, teach us.  Instruct us in ways that lead to peace and prosperity.  Take us to secure homes and undisturbed cities and schools and theaters and meeting places.  Refugees scatter across our world and find no peace in the next place.  God, grant us peace. 

Unnerved – The Community Solution

Right and effective research pushes the boundaries of accepted thought.  While political pundits push socially acceptable and emotionally provoking concepts at the public mind as if they were truth, are they?  In a minute I’ll tell you a fresh story of one of our Transformers, a person moving from struggling to secure. Right now, let’s debunk based on research not politics.

EDUCATED:

1. Poverty is not a race issue.  67% of all U. S. individuals in poverty are white.

2. Poverty is not totally caused by systems and exploitation.  Individual choices, addiction, illness, war, lack of education, lack of employment, mindsets, disabilities, and thinking play big roles.

3. Wealthy people pay taxes. 67.9% of U.S. federal taxes were paid by the top 20% of households in 2009.

CONNECTED: Okay, that is enough debunking.  There is more to come.  Thekey to change involves feeling the pain of staying the same, getting a vision or goal, applying your talent and skill, and connecting with a mentor to help you bridge from where you are to where you want to go.

UNNERVED: Jack (name changed) exploded excitedly into his story this week.  After six weeks of THINK!, his life story changed.  After doing some work, the business owner refused to pay.

“I was ready to call and cuss him out and get angry like I normally do, ” declared Jack. “But, I reminded myself I had new social skills from THINK!. If I did that he probably would hang up and never pay me.”

Jack at this point did exactly what he had been taught through role playing, music, video, discussion, interaction, personal application homework and instruction. He paused, cooled down, set goal, decided what skills to use (active listening, asking questions, responding to anger, and negotiating) made a plan, picked up the phone and went to work getting his money.

With his new approach, Jack talked to the owner, then talked to the work supervisor, then talked to his workmate. Each contributed information that the other person needed.  The owner not only gladly paid Jack the $450 he owed, but gave him a $100 bonus because of the professional way he handled the situation and offered him more work.

Jack unnerved himself. He disconnected decades of bad example, incorrect socialization, and nervous energy.  Then he connected a new thought source.  Now he has a powerful life altering story of applying a restructured approach. He is transforming himself and his family.  He is unnerving a dysfunctional set of anxieties and approaches and reconnecting a new set of productive nerve endings.

THE COMMUNITY SOLUTION needs your gift.  It is simple. What we do changes lives.  What we do opens doors for a better life forward.  What we do takes money.  You can put life change into the hands of Jack, who now brings his partner to class and she is changing alongside.  GIVE.  Text   thinkcti   to 77977 and you will receive a secure link back.  Or go the thinkcti.org/give   and get info on giving by check.   Use your skill and heart to help others.  Help another Jack.GIVE 

THINK! – Decision Making

What is a Transformer?  That is anyone who comes to me with an expectation of improving.  They may not have it when we meet. But, they will get it before we are done. Some make great progress and change their family, neighbors, extended family, and community like this couple. They are hosting a couples communication session for other family members.  They are Transformers.  They came with issues. They walk side by side with solutions for others.

Where are you making a significant impact on the thoughts and lives of others so they can make a significant impact on the thoughts and lives of others?

Community Transformation Initiative is all about making Transformers happen in their world.  In the Christian venue, we would call that making Disciples. Get what I need. Give what I get to others. Repeat daily.

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This is for you, who age our businesses, community, and organizations. 31 keys to effective organizational management developed over 35 years of study and practice.These were selected by my staff as the most impact in their lives and development. Now I share them with you.

Manage Well: An Eclectic Manager’s Guide To Excellence

by Philip Larsonhttp://www.amazon.com/dp/1499503121

If I could just go,

If I could just go,

Those words strike home.  Most of us like to give our time, talent, and treasure where we have gone. Nothing wrong with that.  That is good.

But, really, I don’t want you be addicted or desperate or incarcerated or abused or assaulted.  But, I do want you to come with me to those that have and are living in hell.

If you could come to hell for five minutes and come to heaven for five minutes, how would you live the rest of your life?  Come with me.  I invite you.  They live in the same room.

Two years ago, I packed a bag and took a trip to hell. I thought I was headed to heaven. On a prayer and a challenge I travelled to North Texas.  With less than half the money needed just to pay household expenses, I took the trip and take it every week.  And I live in hell alongside new friends for all that time.  I invite you to come with me.  We can bring them heaven.

August 9th starts a new group of families looking to improve communications.   August 10th starts theavenandhellwo new groups (25 preregistered) of people on probation for a myriad of reasons. They look to improve life in every aspect.

Come with me.

There is a doorway through which every person comes in Gainesville.  When they walk through the first time, they are cocky, frightened, anxious, angry, or aggravated.  They expect an AA atmosphere or a dressing down.  We give them Jesus. Oh, not the bible versed, KJV, sanctified, Sunday morning Jesus. We give them open arms, take you as you are, talk beside the well of life for a little while, Zacchaeus’ living room Jesus.  We give them wisdom rewritten in conversations, instructions and stories relevant today out of timeless truth.   It is researched and evidence based.  Truth works. And hell begins to look a little more like heaven.

Over the ten weeks of transformation, they walk through the door differently. They come early to sit and talk.  They laugh and sometimes dance.  One will come in so excited, we have to halt class to listen to a testimony of achievement.  I laugh and think of what Jesus felt when the seventy returned from their trip with stories of demons lying down and disease being conquered.  One tells how she is talking to her daughter in prison for the first time in years.  Another brags that her children have been returned.  A man boasts that he is having great conversations with his teenagers for the first time.  Another laughs that his wife wants to come because she is curious what is changing him into this new person.  Another has conquered another month of sobriety.

Old things pass away. Life becomes new.  This is the gospel of Life Skills and Family Builders.  This is Jesus. And we party for graduation.  Family comes. Grandma visits. Kids sit beside changed parents.

In the private times, my phone rings and we visit one on one.  We pray and cry over cancers and conflicts.   We dig into deep stories of pain and angst no one should ever have lived. We open a bible and let the love of Jesus shine in faith.  In class, we never preach.  In private, we always pray.  No one is required to believe, everyone is offered the fullness of Jesus.  But, they have to ask.

Come on a short term mission trip.  This is missions.  Once we begin a class, there are no visitors allowed, so August 10th is your opportunity to see a beginning.  Come spend an evening watching miracles.

Can’t come?   Scratch in a Wednesday luncheon with me in Moore, Ok in August.   Visit our new headquarters. We will be starting the same thrust into hell for the OKC area soon.

If you can’t give your time for these, then give your treasure and talent.  All the instructions for online or mail in are at www.communitytransformationinitiative.org/the-giving-page . My wife and I still live on just not enough and dip into savings meant for retirement. I dream of having sufficient for someone to do the books and cut the grass and expand to teach more groups.   We believe that God has other missionaries, who will join with the Jesus you can touch approach. I am believing for four missionaries.  It all belongs to Him.  Many missionaries wait until they have a fund off of which to live.   Others just go.  That’s me.  Every month is an adventure.

Come sit in hell with me and watch heaven unfold.

Phil, Director

Community Transformation Initiative –

Educating, Encouraging, Engaging – Fathers, Families, Leaders

phil@shepherdok.com

405.388.8037